Special Supplement
The Putnam Pit
[No bull]
Presents
If officials had the guts to tell the truth . . .


 
Ha yew?
Welcome to Coke Vial!
We wantcha to think this is a good government here. That's why we keep our thumbs on the throats of folks who live here; the election is coming up and our friends are counting on us and we don't let our friends down no matter whose head they put a gun to. Hey, we're traditionalists, dontcha know? Now don't look too close at our unprosecuted drug-related murders, or at the suicides,  neither, dontcha hear?. The Chamber of Commerce gets so mad!
 

Coke vial is proud to be the home of possibly the single largest occurrence of the letters W-I-L-L-I-A-M- E-.-G-I-B-S-O-N painted on a public building at the public's expense anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line, or if not the largest, at least one of the five largest.


 
  
Home   News Government Information The City of Cookeville, Tennessee
  
 
 
 
A welcome message from the Mayor of Coke Vial. 
Come visit our kangaroo court, why dontcha? It makes us big bucks on speeders, and hell, we hire the judge and own the court, we pay the prosecutor and we spend the fines. Ain't nooooo separation of powers down here in Coke Vial. We just keep it all together, real nice like, in our hip pocket. Don't you pay no attention to that Putnam Pit thing.  
Look what our own state supreme court says. 
City Manager
A welcome message from the Coke Vial city manager.  
Come have a smoke with me in the back room, why dontcha? Never mind that old "No smokin' " sign there. Why, heck, that don't apply to good ol' boys like us. That's for the newcomers. the Jews and Yankees, Republicans, the governor, journalists, the Northern Democrats, the unions, the FBI, you know, The White Trash. Oh, never mind about them four civil rights cases naming me. I got insurance, and the city pays the premium . . . I mean the taxpayers pay the premium. Need a match? Oh, you don't need no ash tray, just throw it on the floor and I'll grind it out with my 'Unforeseen Causes of Necessary Increase in Tax Levy' report. God knows, and I am a Christian, dontcha know, hell, I go to church with a lot of good ol' boys and they'll tell you, that, uh, what was I saying? You need a match? Oh, dontcha worry about those parking tickets. Hell, give me that sucker. You're my friend and I know you didn't mean it, and I'll stick by you no matter who we have to ruin. We don't give out our parking violator's database nohow, so no one will find out, except that, that...oh, there goes my blood pressure. 

The City Council

[Graphics by c.d. 'Sonny Boy' {wonder boy} norman ]
Click for sound  
Meet our Coke vial City Council. Come count all the money we've been squanderin' on legal fees so close to election time to cover up our public records, why dontcha? There's plenty to count.   [Sound takes as long as two minutes to download]

Facts and information about Coke Vial. Come see where Darlene Eldridge was murdered, why dontcha? And take a look at where them police officers said that police captain was holdin' his gun to that other officer's head, just for fun, why dontcha? He didn't mean nothin' by it, I've known him all my life. Don't that account for nuthin'? And over there, that's where Former Police Chief Richard Holt filed his civil rights suit against the city, didya know? All we did was fire him 'cause he reported corruption to the FBI. What'd he expect us to do, fire the captain? And there's City Attorney O'Mara's office. I'll bet he beats that negligence/malpractice case. Hell, he's a good ol' boy. Tries to be a good Christian, dontcha know.